I Want to Go Home
by ahwritemusic
Summary: When Ladybug and Chat Noir defeat Hawkmoth, Marinette and Adrien are left behind to make the transfer back to civilian life on their own. Not knowing who the other is will they be able to find each other? Or will they forever be alone, wondering what might of been and mourning the loss of their best friend and partner?
1. Chapter 1

Marinette sat in the middle of her room, staring at the spot right in front of her. A frown pulled at her lips and her brow furrowed in confusion.

"T-Tiki?" Her voice was soft and cautious, even a little scared. One moment her kwami had been in front of her, congratulating her on the defeat of Hawkmoth and the next she was gone. Disappeared into thin air. It was almost as if-

Marinette froze, her breathing stopped and her eyes widening in fear. It couldn't be. It just couldn't. Her hand shakily went to touch her ear, hoping to find the cool metal that would reassure her that her fears had no hold. Except her fingers came up empty. All that was there to touch was smooth skin, empty of any sign of a miraculous.

"No… no… no, no, no, no." Marinette became more and more frantic as it sunk in what had happened. Her miraculous was gone and a part of her registered that the butterfly miraculous had disappeared as well but it wasn't that important in that moment. All that mattered was Tiki.

"Tiki?" She started to move from her place on the floor, her eyes daring all around the room for a sign of the little red being. "Tiki where are you? Tiki?"

Marinette began going through her room, opening drawers and emptying their contents as she searched for her friend. She treated it like a game of hide and seek, searching every nook and cranny that Tiki could possibly be hiding in. She had to. She had to act like her kwami was just hiding because she could face that she was gone. Marinette just couldn't believe that it was over, that the adventure was up. It wasn't true and all Marinette had to do was find her kwami. She was still Ladybug, she still had her friend. Of course she did and Marinette didn't dare to touch her ear again. It would just prove her frantic wishing to be wrong and she couldn't deal with that. It couldn't be over and so Marinette continued to look.

"Come on Tiki, this isn't funny. Where are you?" Another drawer lost its contents to the floor. "Tiki? Tiki come on. Where are you? Where did you go?"

It was no use though. All of her calling and searching yeilding nothing. Tiki was nowhere to be found. All Marinette had to show for it was a mess of a room and an even greater feeling of panic causing a shortage of breath. Despite the evidence, Marinette still didn't dare to touch her ears. She still couldn't bring herself to accept the truth. Instead Marinette grabbed her purse - the same purse she kept Tiki in that was suspiciously light which she ignored - and bolted downstairs.

"I'll be back later," Marinette absently called out as she sprinted out the doors of the bakery.

Truthfully, the last thing on her mind was her parents' worry for her. She really needed to find out what happened to Tiki. Running through the streets of Paris, Marinette picked up a chant unconsciously, the rhythm of the words matching with the rhythm of her feet.

 _Tiki can't be gone. Tiki can't be gone. Tiki can't be gone._ No other thoughts could make it passed her screaming emotions as they worked over time to drown out the truth. _Tiki can't be gone. Tiki can't be gone. Tiki can't be gone._

Finally, after an eternity later, Marinette reached her destination. She was breathing like crazy, barely able to catch her breath after her sprint through the city, but she barely noticed. She wasn't important. What was important was finding out where Tiki had gone to and getting her back.

Marinette reached out and knocked on the door, finally allowing a moment to catch her breath as she leaned over onto her knees, gasping heavily. After a few moments of no answer she knocked again.

"Master Fu?" she called out to accompany her knock.

Still silence.

"Master Fu?" Marinette knock once more while her other hand reached for the door knob. It opened easily, as she knew it would, and she stepped inside. "Master Fu?"

A gasp and then a sob escaped Marinette's mouth. The place was completely empty. There was no sign of anyone having even lived there at all. With a terrible wrench to her heart, she sunk to her knees in the middle of the doorway and allowed the tears to finally fall unhindered. Mast Fu was gone. Tiki was gone. It was all over.


	2. Chapter 2

Adrien blinked at the small flash of light and then blinked again when he realized that his kwami was no longer floating in front of him. The camembert that he had insisted on having and had been confessing his love to dropped harmlessly onto the floor.

"Plagg?" the blonde voiced in confusion. "Plagg?"

When silence greeted him Adrien glanced down at his ring only to find it was no longer there. His heart sank and he suddenly found it hard to breathe as tears pricked his eyes. Plagg was gone. It was over. And he didn't even get to say goodbye.

"I'm going to miss you," he said to the empty room, not bothering to stop the waterworks. "Thanks for all of the adventures."

For several minutes Adrien sat in silence mourning the loss of his friend, his confidant, his only company in his lonely prison. He already missed the kwami's complaints and constant begging for cheese as well as his teasing about Adrien's love life. Life just wouldn't be the same without Plagg.

Suddenly it hit him harder than any akuma. _Ladybug!_ She would have just lost her kwami as well, now alone and powerless. She was probably freaking out and searching all over Paris for him. They didn't know who the other one was so she wouldn't know to look for him there. That also meant that Adrien had no idea where to look for his lady but that wasn't the point. The point was he knew her and so knew that she would not be reacting well. He had to at least try to find her. Surely she would be running around frantically or waiting at one of their spots, making his search easy.

 _I need to see her. I need to make sure she's okay._

Adrien quickly stood up, picking up and pocketing the abandoned piece of stinky cheese, and ran out the door. He made a beeline for the front doors, not bothering to check it there was anyone who was going to stop him because he wasn't going to allow them to if they were. Ladybug was who was important right now and he could care less about his schedule or his father's wrath.

 _I'm coming m'lady._

Unfortunately, right as his hand was about to touch the door handle, a loud crash from his father's office halted him. When another one occurred, he was reluctantly pulled from his worry for his partner to focus on the worry he had for his father. Changing directions Adrien quickly reached his father's office and opened the door. The scene he was met with shocked him speechless, his brow furrowing with great concern.

The room was a complete disaster. Everything had either been tipped over, broken, or thrown across the room. No longer did it resemble to cool, calm and strict demeanor of its occupant. Instead it was chaotic, the result of someone extremely upset. Gabriel Agreste mirrored the state of his office as Adrien looked in his direction in time to see him overturn a table. His hair was sticking up in hundreds of different directions, his suit rumpled and creased as if he had slept in it, and his eyes held a crazy glint.

Adrien took a step back out of shock and fear at seeing his father in such a state. He wasn't quite sure what to think about it.

Suddenly, Mr. Agreste looked his way and after a moment the wild and almost animalistic look increased. Adrien shrunk back even further.

"Get him out of here," Gabriel rasped.

Adrien became confused. "Father?"

"Get him out of here now. Take him to his room!" He was now yelling, looking like a maniac as his arms flung around every which way. "Take him to his room and keep him there! He's not to leave, do you hear me?!"

"Yes sir."

The soft voice and the hand that was placed on his arm alerted Adrien to the fact that someone had entered the room after him. He turned his head to see Natalie behind him, gently tugging on his arm to lead him out of the office.

"Wait, no!" His father's words suddenly sank in and Adrien started to panic. He felt as if the floor was dropping out from underneath him. "No, wait! I can't! I need to go! She's out there looking for me, she needs me! Please, let me go!"

His cries were ignored as Natalie took him to his room with a surprisingly firm and unescapable grip. Once inside he turned back to try and escape out only to have his way blocked by the Gorilla.

"Please you have to let me leave. She's out there scared and alone. I can't just leave her! Please!"

"I'm sorry," Natalie said before she closed the door, trapping Adrien in his prison that no longer had a way of escape.

Frustrated and on the verge of hyperventilating, Adrien walked to the windows and proceeded to open me. He leaned out, searching the rooftops and the nearby streets for any sign of his lady. Foolishly he hoped to see a flash of red or the whir of a yo-yo indicating that she still had her miraculous and he would be able to finally know her. At the same time Adrien looked for an ordinary girl as well, someone who was running through the streets frantic and scared. All was silent. No one seemed to be around and any sign Adrien was looking for eluded him. He couldn't just give up though. He couldn't allow the love of his life to face their new circumstances alone, scared, worried, and frantic.

"Ladybug!" Adrien yelled out into the Parisian sky.

There was no response though. All remained silent, not even a whisper of wind to ease his mind. It was over and they both were now alone.


	3. Chapter 3

Marinette felt terrible in more ways than one. She missed Tiki greatly, a hole in her heart for the loss of her friend. But that wasn't the greatest pain, the biggest reason she felt guilt. After hours of crying in the middle of the empty apartment she had been able to pick herself up and slowly start to make her way home. It wasn't until she had reached the street that it hit her. _Chat!_ In her grief at losing her kwami Marinette had completely forgotten about the black cat. How could she have been so insensitive? Chat was her partner, her best friend. He had just lost his kwami as well and she had completely forgotten about him. He hadn't even crossed her mind. The realization stabbed her in the heart and twisted far more painfully than losing Tiki had.

Immediately she had set her feet in motion again, this time her frantic pace for a totally different reason as she headed towards the Eiffel Tower. Her stride and heart had taken up a new tune to accompany the image of her partner that stayed at the front of her mind.

 _Please let him be there. Please let him be there,_ she prayed frantically. All the while Marinette tried not to let her thoughts wander off too far. She told herself that he was going to be there, worried and shooken up sure, but there with his blonde hair making it easier for her to spot him instantly. Marinette imagined him pacing back and forth, green eyes searching the crowds, every so after checking his watch. But then as soon as he saw her all of the worry and sadness would just drain away as his face lit up in a dazzling smile. He would run to her and scoop her up in his arms as they relished in the knowledge that they weren't alone and they hadn't lost each other.

Now though, hours later, Marinette was the one pacing underneath the Eiffel Tower. Marinette was the one scanning the faces of every single person who passes by for even a flicker of recognition or familiarity. Marinette was the one religiously checking her phone every few minutes although she long stopped registering the time. The sun was on its way to soon disappearing and Marinette had long since been on the verge of tears. Finally giving up, Marinette found a bench to collapse onto and with her emotions and mind raw and exhausted she was no longer able to keep back her flood of thoughts. She was finally forced to face the truth.

Had she been too late? Had Chat already come and gone before she had even arrived, giving up on her ever showing? Had she somehow missed him? Had he somehow passed just outside of her line of vision and she was just a second to late? Had something had happened to him? Maybe he had been on his way home, still transformed and running over rooftops when he had lost his kwami? Was he somewhere hurt, injured, possibly dying? Or even dead?

Then Marinette's mind started to unload all of the worst case scenarios and her greatest fears. The ones she hated thinking because of how scared and miserable and hurt they made her feel, even worse than the thought of Chat being dead because of the light it shined on her insecurities. But she didn't have a choice. Now that the gates were open she couldn't stop them.

What if Chat had seen her but hadn't liked what he had seen and so had left? Or worse, what if he hadn't shown up at all, convinced that she wasn't going to show up herself? That she didn't care enough because she had always insisted that they keep their identities secret?

Marinette's stomach rolled violently at that thought and more importantly at the thought of the pain that must have caused Chat. Oh why had she been so stupid? Why had she insisted that they keep their identities a secret? Now they were without their miraculous with no way of contacting each other and no idea who they were. They were alone and it was all Marinette's fault.

"Oh Chat," Marinette sobbed while she buried her head in her hands. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I was an idiot, a fool. Please come looking for me. Please don't leave me alone."

For a few minutes Marinette allowed herself to just cry, body trembling greatly, as she thought about her partner. Her mind recalled all of the adventures that she and Chat Noir had had together over the last several years. All of the Akumas they had fought together. All of the times Chat had jumped in front of a hit meant for her so that she would be able to save the day. His glittering green eyes that were constantly smiling, constantly sincere. His easygoing smile that was usually accompanied with a laugh and bit up his whole face every time. His neverending over the top flirting and terrible puns that, while they were annoying, let her know that Chat cared about her and somehow helped to keep her grounded.

Oh what she wouldn't give to hear him make one now! Marinette could practically hear it now, rolling easily off the infuriating cat's tongue; his eyes conveying just how proud he was even as he eagerly awaited her response to it, his whole body all but vibrating with the happiness he felt.

"Chat!" Marinette wailed louder as the knife from her own actions and choices thrust itself deeper into her heart, leaving nothing but jogged little pieces behind.

"I love your puns. I love that I can always count on you. I love everything about you!"

Then, unspoken because Marinette could no longer form words, _You're my partner, my best friend. I feel empty without you, cold. Lost and alone. I need you. You're my home._ The sobs once again increased in volume a violence. _I want to go home._


	4. Chapter 4

By the time Marinette made it back home her parents were frantic with worry. She had been gone for hours, several of those being after sunset, and not once had she answered her neverending chiming phone. She hadn't even realized it had been going off, her whole body numb to the world around her. She hadn't even been aware that she had moved from her bench underneath the Eiffel Tower, let alone that she had been moving for long enough to make it home.

As soon as Marinette stepped through the door, her parents scooped her up in their arms, exclaiming how worried they had been and how glad they were to have her back home and safe. The bluenette barely heard anything though. Now that she was back home and wrapped in the love and warmth of her parents she began to thaw out and feeling returned once more. Marinette was harshly aware of her shredded and bleeding heart. All of her emotions hit her full force and her sobs wracked her body ten times harder than they had so far.

 _Chat!_ her whole body wailed.

 _Chat!_ her heart died just a little bit more.

Tom and Sabine didn't ask any questions, they didn't demand any answers. They simply wrapped her up in their arms and whispered of their love for her. They reassured their daughter that everything would be okay, that everything would be better in the morning as they took her upstairs and settled her into bed.

Marinette didn't hear a word that left their mouths but if she had she probably would have screamed at her parents. Because what they were telling her was lies. Life wasn't okay and it would never be okay again. Chat was gone. Marinette had no way of getting him back.

The ex-superhero fell asleep sandwiched between her parents on their bed. They made sure to pour out all the love and comfort they had to offer the grieving child but it was no use. Only Chat could make her feel better. Only Chat could fix her broken home.

* * *

When the sun shone brightly through the windows the next morning, Adrien could only groan in pain and frustration. He blinked, trying to clear his bleary vision as he reached for his alarm clock. Slowly the green blob of light morphed into something decipherable and for a moment Adrien just stared at it in confusion. That couldn't be right.

Adrien immediately jumped out of bed and rushed towards the bathroom the moment his brain caught up to the waking world. School had started two hours ago. His father was not going to be pleased.

"Plagg!" Adrien all but yelled in frustration and annoyance. "Why didn't you-"

Everything halted. Adrien became rooted to the floor just outside the bathroom door, his eyes were wide and his mouth hung open, and for a moment his thoughts were completely silent. Adrien then remembered what happened perfectly. Plagg was gone, Adrien was left all alone. Confinement to his room had kept him from being able to go find Ladybug no matter how much he had begged and pleaded. Adrien was worried that he had hurt her. That maybe she thought that the reason he hadn't rushed to find her immediately was because he didn't care. He did care, as he had passionately exclaimed to his bedroom, but it didn't help to make it hurt less. All afternoon and evening he had paced and pulled his hair out and all but went insane as he thought about Ladybug. Over and over again he had tried to convince Natalie and the Gorilla to let him leave but it had been no use. Eventually Adrien had changed into pajamas and laid down on his bed. Sleep hadn't come at first and when it finally had it had been awful.

The nightmares weren't anything new for Adrien. It had become a common occurance to have the Akumas that they fought during to make an appearance in his dreams. Last night though, had been brutal. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Ladybug, completely terrified, as he was unable to save her. Sometimes she was caught in the clutches of Hawkmoth as he laughed evilly and stole her miraculous. Sometimes she was lying in his arms, bleeding horribly, as he watched her life slip away. Still at other times he saw her standing under the Eiffel Tower, scared and alone, tears slipping down her cheeks as she came to realize he wasn't going to show. He could see the fear in her eyes that he didn't care.

Over and over again, as Adrien closed his eyes to these images, he found himself jerking back awake in fear, burying his head in his hands as he cried.

So no, it hadn't been a good night. Now it was more than two hours past the start of school and Adrien had to wonder why no one had woken him up.

Not wanting to be even later than he already was and get into even more trouble, Adrien rushed to get ready for the day. In record time he was showered, dressed, and had his bag packed as he then headed out the door.

"Natalie?" Adrien called, hoping to find the assistant so that he could get his schedule for the day as well as the reason why he wasn't woken up.

Ten steps later though, he was stopped by a hand on his shoulder as it roughly pulled him back into his room.

"Hey! Wait- I have to go to school." He shot a confused but also somewhat annoyed look at the bodyguard who was once again blocking his way. "What do you think you are doing? I need to go to school. You have to let me out of here!"

Natalie suddenly showed up at the Gorilla's side and Adrien sighed in relief. She would be able to get him out of there so that he could go to school and get on with his day. He really needed a chance to be able to find Ladybug.

"Natalie, I need to-"

"No Adrien."

Adrien just blinked at her. She had never cut him off and frankly after all that had happened in the last twenty-four hours he wasn't sure what to think. Or even what Natalie was saying no to.

"You will not be going to school and from here on out all of your former engagements are canceled."

Natalie delivered her message with her normal straight face so it took Adrien a moment to realize she had said something other than the normal prattle of his schedule.

"What?!" Adrien's stomach sank. He must have misheard right? That's what must have happened because there was no way Natalie had just told him he was no longer going to school.

"Your schedule is now completely free until further notice."

Natalie turned on her heel, leaving Adrien alone to let his brain catch up. She sent one last glance to the sheltered boy, a flash of pity and sorrow taking over her features. But then she was gone, the door shutting him inside again.

With the click of the latch, Adrien caught up with reality and he threw himself against the door.

"No! No! You can't do this to me! Let me out! Please! She needs me!"

Adrien pounded on the door and jerked the handle with all his might. It remained sealed shut and his cries went unheard. In a matter of seconds he was gasping for breath, panic seizing his heart in a death grip and refusing to let go. He was trapped with no way out. No way out as Chat. No way out as Adrien. He no longer had hope of escape to see his lady. They truly were forever going to be alone. His house had become his jail cell and his home was lost to him.

 _Ladybug!_ How he wished he could just go home.


	5. Chapter 5

For the next few days Marinette wasn't in school. The blow from losing Chat Noir and Tiki had just been too much, sending Marinette into a state of depression and silence. Out of worry for their daughter, Tom and Sabine had insisted that she stay home. Every chance they got, in between running th bakery, one or both of them would sit with her, keeping a close eye out for any change, good or bad. The time was spent with one sided conversations or forced companionable silence as Marinette sat, eyes unfocused as they stared at nothing.

The only things that had broken through her melancholy had been a visit from Alya the day after she lost everything - the bluenette had broken into hysterical sobs at seeing the loving and concerned face of her friend - and the nightmares that caused her to wake up screaming bloody murder that dissolved into panic-stricken and delirious whimpering as her parents wrapped her in their arms. They would rock her gently, sharing as much comfort and love as they possibly could, until she calmed back down.

Although she knew they scared her parents more than they would ever admit, Marinette never once voiced what her nightmares were about. She couldn't bring herself to admit to seeing Tiki being taken away from her, Marinette just a helpless civilian unable to do anything but watch in horror. And she definitely couldn't share the ones that showed Chat, his face bloodied, pale with death, or flashing with hurt and anger towards her.

If she kept silent maybe the dreams would turn out not to be true. Maybe they would eventually leave her alone, never to become a reality. Because truthfully Marinette was scared as well. She had always had insecurities but since she had been Ladybug and had Tiki and Chat in her life she had been able to keep them mostly quiet. Now that she had lost them both, her insecurities were rearing their ugly heads with the force of a raging dragon. Whispers of insufficiency, unworthiness, and incapability grew louder and louder the longer she was without her greatest cheerleaders and the more her nightmares plagued her.

Marinette just needed Chat Noir, whoever he was under the mask, and everything would be okay. If only she knew who he was! If only she hadn't been so stupid and insisted that they keep their identities a secret!

 _You did it to protect your friends and family_ , the logical part of her said.

Unfortunately it was quiet and weak, easily overpowered by the fears that kept multiplying by the second.

 _You idiot!_ they screamed. _You refused him because you're scared. You're a coward. It's no wonder that you're no longer Ladybug! You're so weak you couldn't stop it from happening before you told him. Chat's going to hate you forever now. Not that he could ever love a girl like you._

"Hey Marinette."

Alya's soft voice broke through her thoughts and the girl almost cried in relief. She was suffocating in her mind, and while most of her was still numb and she'd never be able to share her demons, she was still grateful for the distraction and company.

"How are you doing?"

Marinette stared at her friend blankly. She was hearing the words but that was as far as they got. Nothing was comprehending.

"I brought you some food. It's nothing fancy, just some salad and spaghetti."

Alya set the plate in Marinette's lap. The girl just sat for a moment looking at it while Alya joined her on the floor in the middle of the room. While a lot of things had been worrisome about the young designer's recent behavior, eating had been one of them. Part really did not want to eat, having no desire to stay in her pain and suffering. Another part of her refused to allow her to give up. Whether it was because there was somehow hope that she'd see Chat again somewhere inside of her or because some sick, twisted part of her wanted to torture her by dragging out her misery, she didn't know. She just ate and by going so she eased some of the worry that had settled over those that loved her.

"I also brought your homework from this week. The teacher's said not to worry too much - that's why I decided to bring it now - but just in case you feel up to doing something…"

Marinette began slowly eating her food without a word. Alya sat in tense and uncomfortable silence, twisting and fiddling her fingers harshly as she tried to think of what else to say. Since she didn't know what was wrong with her best friend she wasn't sure what the safe topics were. Sure Marinette had hardly shown any emotion or reaction in the past few days but at any moment. Any possible topic could break through the walls and snap her. But any possible topic could also be what finally gave the ex-superhero the comfort she needed.

So Alya proceeded cautiously. "Everyone at school misses you. Adrien still isn't back to school yet either. Everyone's worried about him as well since no one has been able to find anything out. Not even Nino."

Alya nervously bit her lip as she watched Marinette continue to eat with no reaction. She had already said these things multiple times, considering it was now Saturday and Marinette had missed three days of school. But Alya kept hoping that something would change, especially at the mention of Adrien. Surely knowing that something was wrong with the boy she was obsessed with would ignite something in Marinette. But she stayed the same.

As for Marinette, she was hearing the name but that was all it was anymore. Just a name. After losing Chat, Adrien didn't seem that important anymore. If Marinette wasn't numb she probably would've laughed. All that time wasted pining over a guy she couldn't even talk to. It was almost hysterical how she used to think Adrien was the whole world. He was the one who always made her feel like she was home. Now she realized just how naive and selfish she had been. Chat wasn't the world. He wasn't even Marinette's world, but he was her home.

The way Chat always had her back no matter what. He could read her like an open book and knew when she was having a hard time but also knew when to ask about it and when to not. And the looks he always gave, full of trust, and amazement, and… love. Chat was home. He always had been, she had just been too blind to see it.

"The streets of Paris have been quiet," Alya continued. She wasn't sure if this was a safe conversation to have but she really just wanted to discuss the disappearance of the superheroes with her best friend. "No one has seen any Akumas since Tuesday. No one really knows what happened at all.

"One moment Ladybug and Chat Noir were fighting an Akuma and then Hawkmoth showed up. They battled for a few minutes but soon they disappeared from sight. I think they may have gone back to Hawkmoth's lair to have the final battle."

Slowly Marinette stopped chewing, swallowing hard, the food getting stuck in her throat. As she heard Alya talking, little by painfully little her feelings started to return.

"I don't doubt that Ladybug and Chat Noir defeated Hawkmoth but I do worry about them. No one has seen them since and it just doesn't bode well with me. Were they injured? If so were they able to get to a hospital? Did they maybe have to sacrifice themselves to stop Hawkmoth? Are they okay? If so why haven't we seen them? Do they now finally know who the other is? Are they finally together, happy and relieved that the danger is over?"

A sniffle cut Alya off and she looked to see Marinette with tears streaming down her face, her knuckles white as she gripped her dinner plate. The journalist carefully pulled the dish from her tremble hands and then quickly gathered her friend up in her arms. Marinette wasn't crying that hard yet but Alya knew it wouldn't be long until they became uncontrollable.

"Shh… It's okay Mari. I'm sure they're fine."

Alya couldn't fathom why talking about Paris' superhero duo would be what finally brought Marinette back. Maybe she was worried about them too? But this was a lot of grief for two people that she didn't even know.

"You don't have to worry. I'm sorry that this upset you but I'm sure what I said wasn't true. They're safe and together and happy. You don't need to worry."

Alya's hands rubbed Marinette's back as she held her lightly. Marinette just shook her head at Alya's words, her sobs increasing but not to the point of hysterics.

Alya's words were wrong, so very wrong. Her and Chat weren't together but Marinette couldn't tell her that. Because Marinette was Ladybug. And she couldn't tell anyone. But she wanted to tell Chat. She should have told Chat. Oh why didn't she tell Chat?

 _I'm so sorry,_ she sobbed into Alya's shoulder. _I miss you. I love you._

She paused as she finally allowed herself to admit to the real reason this was all so hard. She loved Chat, oh goodness how she loved him. His stupid puns and his terribly timed flirtations had managed to slip past her walls and professional aura. Her heart made a painful lurch at the emptiness not having those things around created. She missed them. She missed him. But it was too late. She realized her feelings too late.

 _I love you Chat!_ Marinette's heart finally shattered the rest of the way as she mourned her lost love. _I love you. I just want to go home. You're home. My home. I want to go to you._

Alya stayed the rest of the evening in order to hold Marinette as she cried.


	6. Chapter 6

As the sun began to light up the sky in the early hours of the morning it found Adrien already awake. Sitting on his couch, staring into space, the model's leg bounced rapidly in agitation. Five days! Five days he had been locked up in his room, not even allowed to leave to eat, his meals being brought to him, and Adrien had had enough. And with the dawn of his sixth day in solitude he had doubt that he was about to do something drastic.

He ran a tired and angry hand through his hair, making it stand in all different directions until it looked like Chat's hair except hit by lightning. The bags under his eyes resembled the deepest of shadows and the eyes themselves were horribly bloodshot. Adrien had not fared well in his current circumstances, every thought waking and sleeping, occupied by Ladybug.

Despite the scenes that showed up in his dreams Adrien knew that Ladybug was in good health, physically at least. Mentally and emotionally he wasn't so sure and that's what had him terrified. He had complete faith in Ladybug. He knew how strong and brave she was but he also knew that she struggled to see herself that way. Adrien knew that she doubted her abilities outside of the suit despite his assurances otherwise. Now without the power of Ladybug to give her confidence and him as Chat Noir to give support he worried of where her thoughts would take her and convince her of.

Lost in his fears and his frantic state of mind, Adrien didn't notice when the door opened and someone else joined him in his prison.

"Adrien?" The voice was nervous and cautious, almost as if the person knew that the blond was a bomb that could explode at any moment.

"What do you want Natalie?" he ground out, his leg picking up speed.

Adrien hadn't seen Natalie since she dropped the news that he was to be kept a prisoner. He often imagined her cowering in a corner in guilt for locking him away when he wanted someone to blame. Truthfully he knew that the assistant was innocent, just the messenger for his father's demands. But Adrien had yet to see his father since the incident in his office and so Adrien found his anger directed to Natalie instead.

"Your father has finally consented to allow you to go back to school."

Adrien's leg stilled, his heart leaping in hope even as his brain took longer to register and accept.

"What?" His voice sounded rough with his raw emotions making plain his desperation and hope that he was terrified to feel.

"I have finally convinced your father to agree to allow you to go back to school."

The model was on his feet instantly, rushing the assistant only to hesitate three steps away. "Really?"

Natalie let out a small laugh at the look on Adrien's face. "Yes," she said, a tear slipping free at the joy she saw transforming the boy's features.

"Thank you, Natalie!" Adrien closed the rest of the three foot distance to throw his arms around the woman in gratitude. Natalie accepted the enthusiastic hug in stride, another laugh escaping at the relief she felt for being able to take away some of Adiren's pain.

"Now hurry up. Get dressed so you aren't late."

Adrien gave Natalie one last squeeze before rushing to his closet. He was going to school! He was getting out of the house! He was going to be able to look for Ladybug!

"Just know that your father wants you home right after school," the assistant called. "No dawdling. That was the only way I was able to get him to agree to this."

"Okay," Adrien responded even though he hadn't heard a word. He was already lost to the hope that was practically bursting from his veins."

He was finally free! Ladybug was practically at his fingertips now. It was only a matter of time before he found his lady and everything became right with the world.

With his new hope Adrien had a big burst of energy. All of his previous drowsiness had disappeared, not an ounce of sleep deprivedness remaining. All of his fears flew out the window and Adrien began to wonder what had been so bad before. Nothing could be bad because he was going to find Ladybug today.

In a just a couple of minutes Adrien was dressed and rushing out the door (one that was fantastically free of a Gorilla wall) with his backpack in tow. Sprinting down the stairs, the front doors in sight, he was suddenly reminded of the first time he became Chat Noir. It was the same rush of adrenaline, the same barely contained excitement at the prospect of freedom.

The reminder of the memories and lost adventures dimmed Adrien's enthusiasm and slowed his momentum until he came to a stop right before the front door. He stood there staring at the wood, breathing heavily.

 _I'm no longer Chat Noir._ It was as if it was sinking in for the first time. Adrien had been so focused on Ladybug he hadn't really thought about his own situation except to curse the fact that he couldn't transform to find his partner. Now it was hitting him full force and the model found he wanted to curl up into a ball and just sob.

 _Plagg_ , his mind whimpered. _You're really gone and I'm a terrible friend. Goodness, I've barely even thought of you until now._

Adrien ran a hand over his eyes, trying to keep the tears at bay.

 _Get ahold of yourself Agreste_ , the perfect son side of him scolded. _Now is not the time._

 _But Plagg… I'd never thought I'd say this but I miss that awful kwami. His constant complaining and teasing. Gosh! I even miss his stinky cheese!_

The tears formed faster and Adrien had to push harder to keep them in place. He would not cry no matter how much he wanted to. He didn't want to give Natalie a reason to change her mind about allowing him to go to school.

"Adrien, are you alright?" Natalie asked from behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Adrien jumped a little and ducked his head to keep his emotions hidden.

"Of course." He cleared his throat. "I just, uh… I forgot something in my room."

Adrien shrugged out from under Natalie's hand and circled past her without making eye contact.

"Oh. Okay." She sounded confused but Adrien didn't acknowledge it. "I'll be waiting in the car. Be quick."

Adrien hurried upstairs and ran straight to the mini fridge. Opening it and seeing that it was still fully stocked was further testament that Plagg was gone. Instead of standing there to let himself think over it too much, Adrien grabbed several pieces to slip into his bag before rushing back downstairs.

The car ride to school was quick and silent, Adrien's leg having found its familiar agitated bounce. He was still happy and hopeful that he could finally look for Ladybug but Plagg's absence was definitely dampening his spirits. What he would give to hear a piece of poor advice followed by a declaration of love to a piece of camembert.

When the car pulled up in front of his school, Adrien wasted no time in getting out and hurrying up the front steps, missing Natalie's reminder that he was to be taken home right after school.

Adrien didn't see any of his friends on the front steps or in the courtyard, so he continued to his classroom. Finding his friends' seats empty he slumped down into his own to wait.

 _What am I doing here?_ he wondered. _I should be out looking for Ladybug and mourning Plagg, not here couped up in a classroom._

 _Don't be an idiot,_ the logical part argued back. _You just barely got let out of the house. Do you really want to jeopardize this and lose your chance? Besides, for all you know Ladybug might not be looking for you right now. She's probably in school herself._

"Adrien man, you're back."

Adrien looked up to see Nino enter the room with a wide and relieved grin on his face, effectively ending his internal debate.

"Hey Nino." Adrien sent him a tired smile.

"Man you look awful." Nino slid into his seat, concern quickly replacing his earlier good feelings. "What happened?"

"I-"

"Adrikins!"

Chloe barrelled into the room, throwing herself into the model's arms, almost knocking him over.

"I'm so glad you're back! You have no idea how awful last week was without you." A fake pout was placed perfectly on Chloe's lips.

"Not now Chloe. I'm not in the mood." Adrien's response was tired, lacking the fire and bite he had hoped to but in it.

"Nonsense, Adrikins. You-"

"I said not now Chloe. Back off!"

While it still wasn't very strong, Adrien's words and small display of annoyance were still enough to shock the girl. For a moment she stayed in his arms in silence, her mouth hanging open and her eyes wide. She blinked and then she slowly got up, her face changing from surprised to angry.

"How dare you speak to me like that! Obviously you are struggling since you haven't been in school. We're not talking until you're out of this funk."

"Gladly," Adrien said under his breath as Chloe flounced to her seat.

While the mayor's daughter missed the comment, Adrien's best friend didn't. Nino proceeded to start in surprise, drawing Adrien's attention.

"Seriously dude, what _happened_?"

Adrien could understand why Nino was astonished. Never had he told Chloe off, no matter how bad the girl got.

 _I guess after losing Ladybug and Plagg I just don't care much anymore._

"Let's just say it was a long week."

"Hey boys."

Adrien looked to see Alya with a mixture of relief and concern gracing her features.

"It is good to have you back Adrien."

"Thanks Alya."

Adrien was surprised that the journalist hadn't said more. He had expected her to launch into an interrogation as to where he had been and why he currently looked like crap. But then Adrien moved his gaze a little to the right and he suddenly understood. Alya currently had her hands full, her concern not only for the blond model.

Marinette was at Alya's side and it looked like the poor girl was barely standing even with the support of her best friend. Her eyes were bloodshot with deep shadows underneath that looked like they hurt. Against the purple bruise color Marinette's skin was even more pale, giving her the appearance of the deathly sick person. As if to give testament to the fact that the girl should most likely be in a hospital or the very least at home, her hair was a rat's nest of a ponytail and her clothes were probably the comfiest but also rattiest ones she owned. Adrien had never seen the girl less put together or out of it despite all the times she had shown up to class sleep deprived.

Concern immediately crashed into Adrien and he quickly stood up to lend a helping hand.

"Marinette, are you okay?"

The blond carefully grasped her arm, supporting her on the side that Alya wasn't occupying. Marinette just sent him a blank stare, not seeming to register what he said or that he was standing next to her. Seeing the empty eyes and the lack of a smile Adrien's concern increased. He had always know Marinette to be the brightest, happiest, most optimistic person ever and to have all of it gone, leaving the despair and loneliness in its place didn't sit right with him.

Adrien helped take Marinette to her seat, gently lowering her before Alya pulled him back to his own seat. He shot another worried glance at the girl who just stared into space.

"She's doing better," Alya whispered to him.

The model focused back on her only to notice the bags the journalist was sporting under her own eyes. She ran a tired hand through her hair and for a moment she looked like she was about to cry.

"Alya, are you okay?" He placed a careful but comforting hand on her shoulder.

The girl shook her head, somehow managing to dispel the tears. "Yeah. I'm just worried about her."

They both looked at their friend. She was actually showing signs of life, a paper in front of her as she slowly wrote on it.

"What happened?"

"I don't know. Her parents said she left from the house Tuesday afternoon. She came back super late that evening and apparently she broke down crying. Ever since she's mostly been out of it except for the nightmares, but she won't tell anyone what happened."

Adrien frowned at the thought of something terrible happening to Marinette. She didn't deserve anything like that and he desperately wished he could do something to help her.

"I tried texting you to let you know."

Guilt settled into Adrien's stomach at that. "Yeah, the last week hasn't been the greatest for me either."

He shot another glance to Marinette.

"Hey, don't worry." It was Alya's turn to extend a comforting hand. "She'll be okay."

Adrien nodded and Alya left his side to go to her own seat. He moved to sit down as well, directing one final worried gaze at the girl behind him. For the first time in a week, Adrien's mind was occupied by something other than Ladybug. He just hoped that the girl would be okay.


End file.
